10 Steps to Becoming a Web 2.0 Billionaire
When I speak to alot of people, they underestimate their true potential and what they could achieve. Many people have asked me to reflect, and I thought I'd take some time out between my various non-commercial pursuits and do so.
10 Steps to Becoming a Web 2.0 Billionaire
1. Become a self-taught expert in designated new web 2.0 area, and write blog posts, post YouTube videos, and whatever other 2.0 method acting you need to get inside the role of being a 2.0 entrepreneur. Just make sure you are regarded as serial.
2. Go to friends and family at birthday and/or XMAS time and say that you dont want any presents this year. But you will take a second mortgage on the family home. If questioned, show them a graph of google's early stock price on Yahoo Finance.
3. Create a non-commercial blog network and link to each other saying it's a very exciting time, and that there is never a better time to start a company. If you start getting random panic attacks, and dont know what they are; They are panic attacks. Heartburn isnt a heart attack either.
4. If you are in a relationship, finish that. If you have a family, tell them there will be no presents for XMAS or birthdays. Love is what matters most.
5. The $100,000 you borrowed, spend it, and make sure there isn't much to show. Especially dont have a finished product or good financials. Make sure your business is easy to copy, non scalable, and generally not that attractive to even your friends, and other people on the internet. When your (friends + family) investors start to ask how the business is going, show them the same Yahoo Finance graph, and say you are tracking to and exceeding industry standards. On Time. On Budget. Always show a logo to elicit feedback.
6. Raise a fund because someone contacted you from your blog looking to "partner" as a synonym for a "flutter". Show them the graph, and pay any serious creditors from the proceeds who have been threatening physical pain in the prior months from a bad ad deal you did before people got Web 2.0.
7. Now you are a 2.0 hedge fund value investor that isnt regulated or restricted by the shackles of being a public company or venture capitalists. Find some old school internet assets, or even better offline retail assets that can be dressed up with some AJAX and start your rollup play. Cook at 200 degrees for 45 minutes. Go out and get a latte.
8. Given you spent the money from the investor who contacted you on your blog, on high interest credit repayments, and you need to start showing a return to the 2.0 pension funds, start buying assets using scrip. In phone calls you make in various states of undress interchange the word scrip, script, equity, stock, pscyhed, cash and stock, earnout, and synergy but minimise use of terms cash and upfront. You bought an ad agency before and it sucked.
9. Now you have fused some offline, 1.0 dot com survivors and 2.0 ajax, video, p2p, meta-vertical search playaz into a rollup play, you must engage 2 primary tactics - Speak to Russian Mafia and Domain Name Spammers about maximising traffic and contextual ad revenue. Read Tech.Memeorandum (dont call it techmeme.com or you wont be considered 2.0 old school) and find out how you can get 5 billion pages indexed in 30 days. Ensure due diligence is conducted during the consequent growth period, and your personal golden parachutes have uncapped bonuses for exceeding revenue and user targets from this representative window.
10. In between speaking to those in Eastern European time zones, you have been dealing with convergent media funds that are looking to find an entry point into the exciting world of software without desktops, and TV without networks. You like them because they lost more than you and the Junior VP of Bus Dev has sent you his resume looking for work. They are looking to you as a solution to their problems. And with 28% of all web consumers visiting one of your destinations, and 85% daily, you are a 2.0 Ted Turner like cosmonaut : With a collection of assets, which when aligned with the "natural owner" should be able to maximise the ad yields by a factor of 4-8 times across billions of page views. Ensure your independent research firm does a few lovely graphs which make this comparison stark and immediate. As a final signature maneouvre make the acquire transfer the billions through PayPal once they win a rigged reverse virtual auction; Buy a basketball team; Become a philanthropist; Save the World. We all can do it. In these 10 easy steps. Then Blog About It in a List. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
10 Steps to Becoming a Web 2.0 Billionaire
1. Become a self-taught expert in designated new web 2.0 area, and write blog posts, post YouTube videos, and whatever other 2.0 method acting you need to get inside the role of being a 2.0 entrepreneur. Just make sure you are regarded as serial.
2. Go to friends and family at birthday and/or XMAS time and say that you dont want any presents this year. But you will take a second mortgage on the family home. If questioned, show them a graph of google's early stock price on Yahoo Finance.
3. Create a non-commercial blog network and link to each other saying it's a very exciting time, and that there is never a better time to start a company. If you start getting random panic attacks, and dont know what they are; They are panic attacks. Heartburn isnt a heart attack either.
4. If you are in a relationship, finish that. If you have a family, tell them there will be no presents for XMAS or birthdays. Love is what matters most.
5. The $100,000 you borrowed, spend it, and make sure there isn't much to show. Especially dont have a finished product or good financials. Make sure your business is easy to copy, non scalable, and generally not that attractive to even your friends, and other people on the internet. When your (friends + family) investors start to ask how the business is going, show them the same Yahoo Finance graph, and say you are tracking to and exceeding industry standards. On Time. On Budget. Always show a logo to elicit feedback.
6. Raise a fund because someone contacted you from your blog looking to "partner" as a synonym for a "flutter". Show them the graph, and pay any serious creditors from the proceeds who have been threatening physical pain in the prior months from a bad ad deal you did before people got Web 2.0.
7. Now you are a 2.0 hedge fund value investor that isnt regulated or restricted by the shackles of being a public company or venture capitalists. Find some old school internet assets, or even better offline retail assets that can be dressed up with some AJAX and start your rollup play. Cook at 200 degrees for 45 minutes. Go out and get a latte.
8. Given you spent the money from the investor who contacted you on your blog, on high interest credit repayments, and you need to start showing a return to the 2.0 pension funds, start buying assets using scrip. In phone calls you make in various states of undress interchange the word scrip, script, equity, stock, pscyhed, cash and stock, earnout, and synergy but minimise use of terms cash and upfront. You bought an ad agency before and it sucked.
9. Now you have fused some offline, 1.0 dot com survivors and 2.0 ajax, video, p2p, meta-vertical search playaz into a rollup play, you must engage 2 primary tactics - Speak to Russian Mafia and Domain Name Spammers about maximising traffic and contextual ad revenue. Read Tech.Memeorandum (dont call it techmeme.com or you wont be considered 2.0 old school) and find out how you can get 5 billion pages indexed in 30 days. Ensure due diligence is conducted during the consequent growth period, and your personal golden parachutes have uncapped bonuses for exceeding revenue and user targets from this representative window.
10. In between speaking to those in Eastern European time zones, you have been dealing with convergent media funds that are looking to find an entry point into the exciting world of software without desktops, and TV without networks. You like them because they lost more than you and the Junior VP of Bus Dev has sent you his resume looking for work. They are looking to you as a solution to their problems. And with 28% of all web consumers visiting one of your destinations, and 85% daily, you are a 2.0 Ted Turner like cosmonaut : With a collection of assets, which when aligned with the "natural owner" should be able to maximise the ad yields by a factor of 4-8 times across billions of page views. Ensure your independent research firm does a few lovely graphs which make this comparison stark and immediate. As a final signature maneouvre make the acquire transfer the billions through PayPal once they win a rigged reverse virtual auction; Buy a basketball team; Become a philanthropist; Save the World. We all can do it. In these 10 easy steps. Then Blog About It in a List. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
posted by redbarren at 3:59 PM
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